


You Either Die a Hero...

by American_Oddysey



Series: Runaway AU Act II [1]
Category: Dragon Quest Series, Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Character Death, Runaway AU, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, heavy stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:56:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29936526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/American_Oddysey/pseuds/American_Oddysey
Summary: Yggdrasil has fallen, and Jasper is left alone. He was unable to save anyone then, and he's unable to save anyone, now.-Runaway AU-
Series: Runaway AU Act II [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2203542
Kudos: 3





	You Either Die a Hero...

Things had not gotten easier over the past couple of months. In fact, the situation was only getting more desperate. Jasper was grasping at straws for what to do, only to find out that it was inevitable. The Last Bastion would fall, and it would be because of him. If only he’d been stronger, physically, emotionally, mentally… maybe it would have turned out different. Maybe he could have stopped Mordegon. Maybe he wouldn’t have crumpled like a house of cards the second the Dark Lord attacked him, leaving Hendrik to fight him on his own, only for them both to fail.

Hendrik had always been much stronger than him. He was the _proper_ knight out of the two. Hendrik had grit his teeth through the pain and tailed the demon up to Yggdrasil’s heart, while Jasper was stranded down on the altar, only being able to watch in horror as the tree of life fell. He had used the last of his magic to get out of there. To leave them, like the coward he was. 

So he felt disgusted when the citizens of Cobblestone and what was left of Heliodor christened him as a hero. The Bastion was being run into the ground. Jasper couldn’t lead these soldiers. He was a shell of his former self, distracted, unreliable. They had mere weeks before the monsters would overtake them, and it was Jasper’s fault. He wasn’t meant for this. He was never a hero. He felt so unbelievably useless, yet there wasn’t anything he could do about it. So he fled. That was the only reliable thing he’d do. Run away from his problems, pretend they didn’t exist. Shove them into the back corner of his mind and let them fester and rot until he couldn’t bear it anymore. And that’s why he found himself on the top of the Cobblestone Tor, now. It gave him space, quiet. He could be left alone, just him and his thoughts. Which, admittedly, wasn’t ideal, but it shielded him from responsibility temporarily.

The strategist guessed this was what the Luminary wanted. Before everything went to hell. Prince Eleven would run away from his problems, refuse anyone who tried to make this journey easier on him. The Drasilian prince had wanted to elope with that thief. Now, Jasper couldn’t blame him. Now that Jasper was properly in the Luminary’s shoes, or as much as he could be, he understood being tasked with that sort of thing. To carry so many lives on his shoulders. Such a burden wasn’t easy to maintain, especially when he knew he was going to fail any day now.

Jasper couldn’t help but wonder if things would have been different if Hendrik had survived instead of him. They probably would have, Hendrik worked well under this sort of pressure. His immense sense of duty was something Jasper was always in awe of. Hendrik was the perfect knight. He had the personality for it from the very start, even if the skills that came with that sort of career didn’t come so easily to him. Loyal to a fault, sensible, persistent. Everything that Jasper lacked. Jasper was far more informed on war strategy than Hendrik was, though he knew, just because of his au fait with the battlefield, when something was winnable or not. And when it wasn’t, he’d give up.

Jasper looked down at the medallion in his palm, giving it a harsh squeeze, leaving imprints in his skin. He felt so conflicted about the token. It was the only thing he had to remember Hendrik by, but also a reminder that he wasn’t meant to do this. He had a status quo to fill, was _expected_ to be a knight, had _promised_ to be a knight, when this wasn’t what he’d wanted at all. He wasn’t even a real knight. 

Jasper had urges to throw the medallion off of the edge of the Tor. Now was no exception. Sometimes he’d even reel back to pitch it over the cliff, though he never did. The blonde’s eyes scan over the pendant once more, then lets out a small sigh, pocketing the token just in time for one of the soldiers to come and retrieve him.

“Sir Jasper, his Highness wishes to see you.”

Jasper gives a nod. “Tell him I’ll be a few more moments.” He says quietly, barely acknowledging the soldier besides that. He waits for the light clank of armor and footsteps to become inaudible before he lets out a long breath, looking up at the sky.

“... You know, I’d like to join you, but I’d think you’d be disappointed if you found out I’d done anything of that nature.” The strategist says to no one in particular, though has a specific person in mind. “I’m really just… nothing without you. And I’m sure you don’t need me, wherever you are.” Jasper swallows a painful lump in his throat. “... I should have treated you better.” He runs his thumb over the rubies embedded in the Token of Fealty in his pocket. “I could go on all day about my regrets… but you’d scold me if I kept his Majesty waiting for any longer than I already have.” The blonde gives a small laugh, feeling awkward, pathetic. He draws his eyes back down to the dying grass. The lack of sunlight was really starting to take its toll on the flora. He draws his lips into a line, finding it hard for him to say, despite the recipient being lost to him. “... I love you.” He breathes, finally turning and climbing down the rocky cliffs of the Tor.


End file.
